Miracles as Teachers

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

You've likely noticed that we have more opportunities these days to remind ourselves of spiritual principles. That's because there are more messages filled with negativity, scarcity and limitation bombarding us. Chicken Little is alive and well, screaming that the sky is falling!

Clearly, things are changing. It's really no surprise, is it? Everyone likes to think it is possible to get something for nothing. Could it really have been possible to buy a house with an inflated price tag with a huge loan that your income really could not support? No, but it happened. Is it really a good idea to get a credit card with 0% interest to start, buy the things you wanted and then find yourself with a 25% or 36% interest accruing? No, but it happened.

I was talking with a dear friend a couple of years ago. He is a wonderfully generous man with an amazingly talented wife, and buying a home where they could entertain was a dream. His income barefuly supported the small, run-down home they rented. He thought it was a miracle when a mortgage company approved their loan on the big house with the huge garden for entertaining. And, it was a miracle in the truest sense: there was no way to explain how it could possibly happen!

Having lunch with him six months ago, the miracle had faded into a source of incredible stress, fear and pain. The variable rate mortgage that made it possible for them to have the house was now eating up every single cent he could bring in, with nothing left for bills, or daily food--not to mention for the entertaining that was so important. They were distraught.

So, what about the miracle? The tremendous gratitude my friends felt for being able to purchase the house had become depression over the potential albatross it had become. Their pain was intense as they saw their dreams fading into ruined credit and a return to the tiny, inadequate rental housing of earlier years. What to do?

Fortunately for them, another miracle took place: a friend who loved and appreciated them stepped in and helped them even before the government made it possible for them to renegotiate their mortgage. This fellow believed in them and their talents. A miracle!

A Course in Miracles tells us that:

"Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle....A miracle is a service. It is the maximal service you can render to another. It is a way of loving your neighbor as yourself. You recognize your own and your neighbor's worth simultaneously."

So, was the miracle in the being approved for the loan, living in a house that seemed way beyond what was affordable, or, the love of the friend who removed the financial pain? All seem to qualify. The miracles are the teachers. They are not magic because they arise from conviction of what is possible. Do they put an end to pain? Perhaps, temporarily, but other things will arise. That's life.

"Miracles are healing because they supply a lack; they are performed by those who temporarily have more for those who temporarily have less."

We all have something to give, no matter what the economy. We all will have learning associated with both our lack and our miracles. That's life.

Have you had a miracle lately? I hope you'll share it with us here.

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Founder, Spiritual Living Network
www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com
NEW WEBSITE: www.ForWomenEntrepreneurs.com

Are You Willing to Put Your Foot Down?

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Last night, I got engaged in watching part of the reality TV show, The Biggest Loser. It's about weight loss. In the segment I saw, there was a challenge to each participant. The winner of the challenge was rewarded with a twenty-four hour visit from someone they loved. These folks had been at the ranch for six weeks with no visits home, so, this was a big prize.

The challenge: to stand on one foot on a raised block.

The winner: the one who maintained their stance the longest.

It was a very simple task, but how it played out was heart-warming. Of course, each person wanted that visit, that precious twenty-four hours of "home." All were dedicated to staying the course and winning the prize.

As time went on, several fell off their pedestals, so to speak. Eventually, four remained. Two men, two women. As the script would have it, we knew the stories of the four. We knew that the woman in yellow's husband had not been keen on her participation in this potentially life-transforming program. She wanted to see him to reassure him that all was well, and, to tell him that she would be continuing her healthier lifestyle forever. One man desperately wanted to see his wife. The other woman wanted to win although we never knew who it was she longed to see. The last fellow had been home for the birth of his child just two weeks before. So, they teetered on, determinedly.

Finally, the woman in yellow made her move. She said to the man who wanted to see his wife,

"You know how badly I want this. Would you please put your foot down and let me have it?"

His heart won, and he stepped off the block. The others persevered. Soon, she asked the others,

"Please, please, let me have this."

The remaining man asked the other woman if she would be willing to step off in response to the request. When he heard her say she would, he put his foot down. She immediately followed.

This amazing story unfolded in the most unlikeliest of places, a reality TV show on weight loss.

Would you be willing to put your foot down and put someone else's needs first?

Would you be willing to ask for what you need, even if it meant other's could not then have it?

It made me think. How about you?

Happy Valentine's Day.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Founder, www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com

If you want the strategies for unfolding miracles in your life, take Dr. Shaler's four-week program, Creating Miracles with Midas Thinking. www.MidasThinking.com

Are You a Lover?

Are You a Lover?
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Provocative question! So many people say they are looking for love. For you to know what to do with it when you find it, you have to BE a lover.

What does it mean 'to be a lover?' It is not about words, though they can be expressive. It is not about money, though everyone enjoys gifts. It is not about doing things for the beloved, though that is always appreciated. It is not about spending time together, though that is delightful. It is not about the warmth of a hug and the touch of a hand, although connection affirms our existence.

To be a lover is all these things and more. To be a lover is to demonstrate consistent enthusiastic devotion to the object of your affections through those loving behaviors, and want for your partner what your partner wants for him or herself.

That's a tall order and a full-time commitment. That's why I say that relationship is a spiritual path within your spiritual path. It calls forth all that you have. That's Soul-Driven Love.

How will you express Soul-Driven Love this Valentine's Day?

I wish you love.
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Founder, Spiritual Living Network.com
http://www.spirituallivingnetwork.com/

There's No One to Blame? Darn!!

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

This morning I was thinking about the ebb and flow of relationships, the ups and downs. How is it that one day he makes your heart flutter and another day the fact that he took out the garbage is the height of your appreciation? It's not that you've forgotten the flutters, but, today, not so much!

My answer: because life is complicated, painful and difficult...and, often, unpredictable. One morning I wake up knowing that absolutely everything is life is do-able, available and ready for me. Another morning, I really have to talk myself into remembering the spiritual principles that I believe, pick myself up and get back on track. Yes, it's not automatic. The joy of being human!

So, if that's what's going on in me, it is likely that the same thing is going on in my partner. Of course, he's a saint, but, it just might be that even saints have to remember their path consciously on some mornings! That's him, though, and I've got my own work to do, so....

Then, I have to remember that how I feel about me affects how I think and feel about him. One thing about accepting responsibility for being a grownup is clear: I am the author of my thoughts and feelings. Wouldn't it be lovely to accurately be able to say,

"You make me miserable, angry, unhappy, ...or pick one?"

Actually, many people do say that, but it's just not true. You know that. You are the only one who responds to people, ideas, situations and conditions. No one creates that response for you. So, there is no one to blame.

So, the question of the day is:

"Am I taking responsibility for my thoughts, feelings and circumstances? Or,
is there some little gremlin thought that I have that someone else has the power
to push my buttons?"

If you've given the power away, take it back.

Make it a great day.

Much love, great joy and many blessings,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Founder of Spiritual Living Network
http://www.spirituallivingnetwork.com/

My Friend Created Something Wonderful and I Want to Share it With You

I've never done this before, but, these are too good not to share right here in my blog.

I want to share with you something wonderful, Feminine Power Cards. Not only are they amazing AND great Valentine's Day gifts for yourself or a friend, but the bonus offers when you buy them right away are, too. So, here it is:

My friend and colleague, Master Leadership Coach, Laura Rubinstein, has just launched her wisdom deck, the Feminine Power Cards, worldwide as way of spreading the word about the call for women to become a more powerful force for creating a better world.

http://podclass.com/podclass/course/index.php?courseid=176&aff=626

I’m helping Coach Laura get the word out as I believe that bringing ourselves back to a balanced state is a much needed antidote to all the stressors we are facing. Her cards are beautiful reminders for every woman who wants to and is leading a heart-centered life. By bringing the cards to the world in this grass roots way, we hope to inspire women everywhere to heal and live joyfully. This world needs women living powerfully more than ever. I could go on and on about why you should buy the Feminine Power Cards, but the bottom line is this:

The more women who have these cards, the more healing will occur in our world. Plus, the package we are offering with the cards is an amazing deal and, when you buy it, you’ll also receive a huge collection of Gifts generously provided by Feminine Power Partners around the world. This is Coach Laura’s way of saying thank you for participating in the movement.

http://podclass.com/podclass/course/index.php?courseid=176&aff=626

Feminine Power Partner contributors are a vibrant group of people. They are not the usual people you see in every promotion. These people were hand selected because of their great contribution to women and feminine power. Including: Marcia Weider, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, Morgana Rae, Marsh Engel, Christy Whitman, Gaye Abbott… You may not know them now, but believe me you will be so glad you know them once you receive their gifts.For the complete list of all Bonuses you getwith your purchase, follow this

link:

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Here's to your joy!

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Founder, Spiritual Living Network

P.S. Be sure to get your deck today and receive it by Valentineshttp://podclass.com/podclass/course/index.php?courseid=176&aff=626

Do You Have a Soul, or Are You a Soul?

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Founder, Spiritual Living Network


There is no end of inquiry on the spiritual path. I'm sure you've noticed that.

As I am working on my book, Soul-Driven Living, I am having to pay great attention to the clarity I can bring to my thinking before I can actually write the book. That seems imperative. So, the questions:

Do you have a soul?
Are you a soul?
Are you part of a Soul?

I'd love to hear your comments and thinking on the subject.

When we wrote SOUL SOLITUDE: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, we wrote it for a
general audience and very consciously chose to say 'our souls". In that book, we
discussed the soul as the Authentic Self. We offer the Webster's dictionary
definition of soul:

"the immaterial essence, animating principle or actuating
cause of an individual life; the spiritual principle embodied in human beings;
all rational and spiritual beings of the universe; an actual or essential part;
a moving spirit; man's moral or ethicalnature; that quality that arouses
emotion and sentiment."

And, we offer a definition from Dr. Dennis Merritt-Jones:

"The truth is there is only one Soul and it is the Soul of the
Universe. Individual man's soul is simply that point within him where the
Universe (or God) personalizes Itself. We believe that the soul is man's
creative medium and is therefore subjective (or subject) to his conscious
thought. The soul is that perfect part of our being which accepts us and our
actions, never judging us as right or wrong, always ready to "assist" us in
achieving whatever we choose to do when we believe we can do it.The soul has
been referred to as the "mirror of mind" because it reflects the forms of
thought which are given it. WE choose the thoughts it reflects or, in other
words, brings into experience."

These two definitions offer our readers a point of departure for understanding the concept of soul.What are your thoughts?

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Psychologist. Coach. Catalyst.
Helping Businesses Prosper & People Flourish
Founder, Spiritual Living Network

http://www.optimizeinstitute.com/
http://www.corevaluesprofile.com/
http://www.souldrivenliving.com/
http://www.spirituallivingnetwork.com/

Overcoming Over-Compromising

OVERCOMING OVER-COMPROMISING
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

www.SoulDrivenLove.com

Do you ever feel over-compromised in your relationships? Like you've given in, given over, and maybe even given up? If you've ever said these words, you're there.

"IT'S NOT WORTH THE HASSLE!!!"

Those are complaints I hear often from my relationship coaching clients who are searching for the keys to having the relationship they long for, but haven't yet experienced.

We are told over and over that every relationship involves a certain amount of compromise. And, it's true. There is very little value in arguing over whose movie gets chosen every single time. There's a logical place to compromise. The problem is that many folks live with constant feelings of giving in, giving over and have simply given up. And, there are cures!

Unfortunately, there is no magic, though. Relationship begins with you, not the other person. If I had a hundred dollars for each couple who say they want to improve their relationship and have come into my office or to a coaching call with this attitude, I'd be delighted:

"If only you could teach her/him ______________, our
relationship would be great."

Now, those couples seldom say that out loud. They really believe that if I could just fix their partners all problems would disappear. They come in hoping that I'll simply take the back off their partner, make a few adjustments, and all will be heavenly. Those unspoken agendas and secret fantasies need great consideration...because you may have them and never even make it to my office or telephone. You simply delude yourself with the idea that it's your partner's issues that make the relationship difficult.

Relationship starts with knowing who you are, AND, who you are in relationship. Examining that and how it came to be true is an essential beginning point. In the four-week Soul-Driven Love* class, we work on ourselves in new ways for the first two weeks. Big surprise to many folks, cuz they came to find out the secrets of fixing their partner!!

Compromise is only one of five major ways to manage conflict. And, conflict is not a four-letter word. It simply means a difference of opinion, style or point-of-view. Learning how to manage conflict effectively and productively is key for everyone, in every relationship. It goes hand-in-hand with also learning to communicate and negotiate skillfully--both also learned skills.Where did you learn to manage conflict? If you are like most people, it was learned by watching others. That spectrum runs between screaming, yelling and serving up ultimatums to acquiesing, backing down and avoiding confrontation at all costs. None of those strategies are wise or productive. You've likely noticed that.

If you find yourself compromising more than is comfortable, take the time to ask yourself why you do that. If you think you're just seeking peace, examine that. Peace is great, but, if it begins to be accompanied by resentment, you need another strategy.You need to know who you are and what you value, believe, and desire. Peace at all cost is not likely it. That will lead you to over-compromising. That is simply under-valuing yourself.

If this is a description of your relationship, you are not headed towards Soul-Driven Love. Soul-Driven Love begins in Soul Solitude**. When we wrote that book, we gave you guidelines, reasons and principles for taking time for your soul to catch up. That's the starting point to have the most glorious life possible.

You deserve it. Overcome over-compromise now.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDFounder, Spiritual Living Network, www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com

& Optimize Institute www.OptimizeInstitute.com*

To learn more about the four-week Soul-Driven Love program, visit www.SoulDrivenLove.com** Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up is available at www.SoulSolitude.com or order it from your local bookstore or Amazon.